


i dont wanna talk about it, i dont wanna think about it (im just feeling low, feeling low)

by hambamthankyoumaam (Random13245)



Series: sleepovers in my bed [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, M/M, Pining, he sad, john's pov on hamliza, this entire series is just pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 17:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10168301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random13245/pseuds/hambamthankyoumaam
Summary: He never had intended for his life to end up like this. He was living a cliché; in love with his straight best friend. It couldn't have gotten worse.But then, his friend got a girlfriend.





	

He never had intended for his life to end up like this. He was living a cliché; in love with his straight best friend. It couldn't have gotten worse.

But then, his friend got a girlfriend.

Her name was Elizabeth, and she had sleek black hair and soft features. She was gorgeous, and Alexander was totally enamoured. He ran his mouth off to anyone who would humor him; she's beautiful, she gets him, she's perfect.

And John despised her. But not really, no… He held no real malice towards her, he couldn't with the way she made Alexander so happy. His heart just ached. When Alexander smiled that way, he wanted it to be him making him smile, but he wasn't. They were friends, albeit best friends, and he didn't want that ruined. He wanted to keep Alexander close, even if it hurt

The worst part was how disturbed their normal, comfortable cycle had become. Instead of walking with John to classes, Alexander walked with Eliza, holding her hand and smiling at her in a way he'd never done for John.

It hurt. The one thing he'd held so closely and pushed his feelings away for was ruined either way. He almost felt compelled to just confess his feelings and leave what was ruined to turn to dust.

He shrank into himself, and Alexander didn't seem to notice, too distracted with his girlfriend. He didn't hang out with their mutual friends as much. Even they talked too much about Eliza, as she had melded right into their circle. She fit perfectly in John’s place, and unlike John, Alexander liked her. He wanted to scream.

It wasn't until the third time he bailed on their regular meetup at the local coffee shop, Fraunces, that someone noticed. It wasn't Alexander, though.

“John, mon ami, what's wrong?” Lafayette frowned, clearly not sure how to approach the situation. He seemed to treat John like a stray animal; as if he would flee at any sign of danger.

“Nothing, why?” John said as convincing as he could manage.

“Bullshit.”

John was startled by this; Lafayette very hardly swore, and usually if he did it was in French and he immediately apologized. The English swear, however, signified that thought had been put into saying it, and it was not followed by an apology.

“I don't wanna talk about it.” He said honestly. Lafayette opened his mouth to retort but John cut him off. “I don't even wanna think about it.”

So they fell into silence.


End file.
